Father God, my suffering is nothing compared to theirs, but my soul is so heavy. I’m at a lack of words to describe it, but you know how it hurts in my heart. Human limitations are frustrating. It’s hard to embrace my poverty. I am unable to change circumstances, nor can I remove hurt from someone’s life. I am not you, Lord. So in my littleness, the best I can do is pray and surrender my friend to you.
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Last Sunday at mass we heard the story of Martha and Mary with Jesus in Luke 10:38-42. A friend reminded me that sometimes in these situations when someone I know or love is hurting, I will be called to be like Martha. The Holy Spirit will lead me to serve, to organize, to comfort – and that will be good. And other times, like in this one now, the Holy Spirit will call me to be like Mary in the story – and that is good too. It’s my time to sit with Jesus in prayer, to talk to Him about my friend and my concern for her. I tell Him about my confusion of feelings and lack of “doing” for my friend. Why is this difficult for me to accept…can’t I find contentment in what I’m being asked to do is to pray and pray and pray.
If I trust in other circumstances that the Holy Spirit is leading me, why wouldn’t He be leading me now? He is. He was the same last week as He is this week. He is leading me to love where I am at, and I can trust that He’ll tell me when it’s my time to serve and my time to pray. My friend needs my prayers. I will spend time with Jesus on her behalf.
And I sense Him saying to me, “Jen, you are doing what I’ve asked you to do. Don’t be afraid to be little with me. I am taking care of her and her family in all the ways they need. Pour out your love and concern in prayer. I am with you.”
Thank you Jesus for giving me peace in my heart. Yes, I will be little with you. I trust in you. Amen.
My Heart, My Home 