I love my husband so much. When we got married, I held him on a pedestal so high, with such unfair expectations. I came into the first year of marriage with misperceptions of what it would be like, based on cultural and friends’ views and not on reality. I would find myself hurt or lonely, and often put the blame on him.
Praise God when He opened my eyes to the friction that my demands or expectations were causing in our marriage. I was looking to my husband to be someone he was not created to be. We do a lot of things differently, but like me, he is created, not the creator. Like me, he sins and needs forgiveness. Like me, he has a limited capacity of patience, time, attention span, energy, etc. Like me, he needs kindness, mercy, encouragement, and love. It was time to thank God for the gift of my husband, ask for forgiveness and humility, and recognize that like me, God has carefully been forming him his whole life.
It’s been made clear that when we got married, I was thirsting for the kind of love that only God can provide. I was also trying to control my husband. Over time, God taught me to look to Him first. He is the only one who loves perfectly. This takes the pressure off of my husband to love me perfectly. It also allows me to love him as he is, and to receive the love he gives me in return.
Thank you God for helping me understand!
Who else have I been holding to unrealistic expectations? Is there someone I am giving the place of God’s role in my life? Understanding this can drastically change relationships for the better, and this is something I would want to know.
Poppa, no one can love perfectly except you. You know everything. Come Holy Spirit, bring to mind anyone I am holding to impossible standards or unfair expectations, even myself. Forgive me, Lord. Help me to understand why I do this. Maybe I could love the person better if I could see them like you do, in their limitedness, in their necessity for you, and especially in the way you love them. Soften my heart. Teach me to be quick to forgive and gentle with my words. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.
“At a time when you did not know God, you became slaves to things that by nature are not gods.” Galatians 4:8
My Heart, My Home 